From: Gunakan H.
Sent: Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Subject: Your Products
Dear Madam,
As a fellow muslim you should be ashamed for portraying Allah and our prophet Mohammed in the ways that you do. Do not call yourself muslim when you are so rude in your portrayal of our holiest beings, and you should hope that allah, great is his name, forgives you eventually.
Editor's Note: Great is his name, huh? Apparently not so great that you need to capitalize it. Yeah! I totally busted you on your typo! Just remember that shit when you blow up a bus. Muslim children will hold up your dismembered foot and be like "This guy didn't capitalize Allah!" Your family will totally be dishonored. So dishonored that they'll probably commit suicide. As if there was another way for a Muslim to die.
Gunakan...I didn't want you to find out this way, but I'm not actually a Muslim. I only used that line to get my hands on that sweet, little package contained in your sand-filled undies. Or, as you call them, your "genital turban."
By the way, while you were fucking me through that hole in the sheet, three other members of your terrorist cell were licking my asshole. A move which will henceforth be known as the "Slippery Jihad."
_______________
From: Teresa K.
Dear Sirs,
I am subscribed to your e-mail list, so I receive e-mails from you on a periodic basis. I am also the parent of a delightful 7-year-old named Rebecca who has Down Syndrome. If you don't have a child with special needs, you probably aren't aware of how hurtful the word "retarded" is to some people when it is used in a derogatory manner.
I realize that your company is based on poking fun at subjects - I actually like most of your items that contain sarcastic remarks. However, there are some subjects that should be out of bounds for sarcasm or ridicule, just in the name of common courtesy. It is one thing to poke fun at someone who has done something ridiculous when they should have known better. It is abhorrent to poke fun at a whole group of people who cannot help the circumstances of their birth or their genetics.
The Special Olympics is a noble organization which recognizes the strengths of these people and treats them with dignity. Please consider calling your sale something else. There is nothing wrong with trying to promote your product, but when you do it in this way, you are cheapening everything in your company.
I appreciate you taking the time to read my remarks. I am not one of those people who gets up on a soapbox very often, but when it comes to our daughter, I will fight the entire world if I have to. She is the most precious gift that our family ever received, and we wouldn't trade her for the world.
Sincerely,
Teresa K.
Forth Worth, Texas
Editor's Note: A retarded girl is the most precious gift your family has ever received? Jesus, your family has gotten some pretty shitty gifts. What are some other gifts you've received - a rabid howler monkey with knives for hands and a self-activating automatic ass-raper?
But I get what you're saying. Your tard-baby is incapable of defending itself, so we shouldn't pick on her. Let me ask her how she feels about all this. Okay, she just said "Potatoes taste better than cars" and tried to shove a dead bird in her ear. I assume that means she's okay with it.
Seriously though, how dare you get an attitude with us when you're the one who got knocked up and kept your baby knowing full well that someone as massively idiotic as you would undoubtedly give birth to a drooling chimp? I guess it's just easier for you to lash out at the world than it is to admit you're a selfish bitch who knowingly conceived an arm-biting freak. You make me sick. (But not as sick as your daughter makes me. Geez, just look at that thing.)
(By the way, commenters, yes, I do realize I ignored the fact that she's from Texas. I figured I'd let you guys handle that.)
4 comments:
''A retarded girl is the most precious gift your family has ever received? Jesus, your family has gotten some pretty shitty gifts.''
tole je že mal preveč kruto. sm mislu, da se bo model pol opraviču, al pa tko sej mal namignu, da se heca, ampak jo je pol u hard zabou.
enivej, kero majco si pa naroču? js že par mescov gledam uno k so gor tri piramide pa uspod piše 'slavery gets shit done', sam se nikol nism spravu naročit.
ja te nism, k hočm fukat usaj še 1x v lajfu:D
sj je prou da take strela, k folk sploh ne dojema kva je point. dejansko niso te modeli ignorant bastards ampak usi ostali. folku v splošnem sede žalt use (sam si ne upajo), če se neki njim dogaja, pa se nekdo iz tega norca dela je pa neprimerno. sj je kul če se zajebavate iz mohameda sam da se iz jezusa je pa že mal preveč. se mi zdi, da je to še bol hinausko, k en naci vsaj reče js ne maram židou ker so židi, tak folk se pa skriva za neko moralo, v resnic jim grejo pa na kurac usi k se ne obnašajo tko k oni. ne mi srt s to moralo, k itak so za usakim dejanjem usazga modela neki lastni interesi kukrkol obrneš. pomoje da, če si enkrat v lajfu nekoga namerno užalu nimaš kej postaulat meril kje je meja, ker vsakmu neki ni prou. kurc use gleda, en jim more špegu držat. če ne bi bla usa družba hinauska, pol takih scen sploh rabl ne bi.
rom: Jauer*** @ ***.com
Sent: Monday, October 08, 2007
Subject: Keep pedophilia references off your site!
I'm referring to the tee that reads, "Are you tighter than a 5th grader?" Surely you can make your money without overtly referencing or seeming to promote pedophilia (and no, I'm not kidding, and yes, I have a sense of humor). Adult sex jokes are fine. Keep kids out of it.
Jane
Editor's Note: Of course we could make money without promoting pedophilia, but why would anyone want to? That would be like becoming a professional athlete and not using your 'Free Rape' coupon. Or becoming a dentist and not teabagging your patients while they're under the gas. I have more, but I'll stop.
Aside from the instant gratification that pedophilia provides, it's also important to our future. Let's assume we put an end to pedophilia right now. Sounds great, right? Now look 10-15 years into the future. Where are the strippers? Where are the porn stars? I'll tell ya where they are. They're in colleges and healthy relationships because assholes like you don't want the creepy uncles of the world using preteens for the only thing they're good for.
--This hate mail response brought to you by "Jim's House of Pedophilia." Come by Jim's any time this month to get 50% off all brands of lube and do-it-yourself stitching kits. And, as usual, any purchase over $20 gets you a free box of Tear Wipes.
pedofilija je pa itak zmeri smešna. i swear i didnt know she was three je legendarna majca, škoda k je nimajo več. aja k že o pedofiliji, to je lol http://fr.youtube.com/watch?v=RRQ8TxAoOBs
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